connecting the dots
The strangest thing happened to me today. Oprah would have called it an “A - ha! Moment”
My daughter is 14 and starting High School this year. I don’t want to talk about - I’d like to live in Denial just a tad bit longer mmkay?
We are still undecided about whether or not she will stay at the small (grade k-10 w/ 220 student) charter school she attended last year or if she will attend the big (grade 9-12 w/ 3500 sudent) high school. We are leaning toward the big school and if there is a spot for her when the office reopens next week, this is most likely where she will attend.
This high school is only about a mile away from our home and as we drove by the other day, my girl asked me if I thought she might be able to ride her bike to school? I told her yes. The reality is that my school schedule, her school schedule and the boy’s school schedule overlap leaving them to have to walk home.
So today, she decided to see how long and how hard this bike ride would be - it’s downhill from our house and UP HILL the whole way home. She and the oldest boy (he’s 12) took off just a few minutes ago on their bikes. They were so excited! Me? I am totally freaked out!
One thing I struggle with as a parent is letting go. It is really about the fact that I get so nervous and scared when they are out of my sight. I know this is normal but I have some serious issues with it - more than normal. As soon as they walked out the door, my heart rate increased a mile a minute, i got a knot in my stomach and my palms started sweating. She has a cell phone and was to call when she got there but what was I going to do for the 15-20min it takes them to get there?
Well apparently, I was going to eat. I immediately craved something sweet. I grabbed a diet coke but I was still having serious cravings and then I noticed the tub of chocolate frosting sitting in the cupboard. This is when the light went on for me.
I know I am an emotional eater but I never ever realize. A-ha! When I get worried I eat…and I caught myself red handed this time. I am glad to say that I did not open the frosting. i just took a big swig of my soda and waited for my daughter to call. She did.
They made it home safe and I learned a lesson about myself.
I can only imagine what you felt, I have no children and don’t really understand those types of feelings. I do have two dogs and last week when I went to Utah I missed them dearly! =)
I hope these feelings of yours lessen and that you become more comfortable with the fact that children grow up. =)
Yup, my 13 year old is starting HS in 2 weeks. It’s SO hard for me to wrap my head around that! Letting go…it’s tough.
The letting go part is hard, isn’t it? Babysteps.