Teenagers!…
I’ll be the first to admit that teenagers offer their own special challenges but for the most part, I think they get a bad rap. My son turns 13 this coming weekend and each day this week I have been gifting him 13 of things. Nothing too fancy but just fun things to have some fun with the fact that he’s becoming a teenager. I normally do not do things like this for birthdays. In fact, I have never bought any of my children a birthday present. Birthdays are about spending time with each other and besides, they get to invite friends over to celebrate and paying for that is present enough. So far he’s gotten 13 bouncy balls, 13 bottles of Gatorade and 13 packs of gum. Later this week he’ll be getting 13 pieces of candy, 13 dollar bills. 13 small family games and 13 birthday cards.
I’ve gotten some strange looks when purchasing this odd assortment of items and have explained that my boy is turning 13 so I’m having a little fun with it. Most often the cashier or the person behinds me apologizes to me for this fact: “13 - Oh I’m so sorry” or “The dreaded teen years - look out!” or “Teens are so difficult” Umm what? I don’t know, I happen to think that teens are some of the most interesting people I know. They have their own unique view of the world and they are developing their own world views and opinions on life. I have had some of the most in depth conversations with teenagers. They ask really interesting questions and think about things in ways I never would.
Of course they push back more often when they feel restricted or challenged and then there are the mood swings and the rolling eyes, and humph! ’s and stomping and OMG!’s but sometimes, I don’t really blame them. They are stuck in between being a kid and becoming an adult. The boundaries and the lines of those rolls aren’t very clear for them. They want more responsibilty but don’t always know how to handle it. They have to start making more decisions and these are so much harder than “Do you want a cookie or ice cream?” It can be very confusing.
Add to that the pressures on kids these days. I am constantly in awe and occasionally horrified by the things my kids witness and have to deal with every day: having the cool clothes, fighting, trying to fit in, drugs, alcohol, sex, doing well in school to prepare for college (not just doing well but exceeding), building/managing/ending relationships as they and their friends change. Add to all of that acne and surging hormones which are changing their bodies on a daily basis.
My daughter is 14, my oldest son will be 13 so soon and the little monkey will be 13 before I know it. It’s a little sad for me because I realize how fast they’ve grown and the day they choose to make their own way in this world is coming sooner rather than later. But at the same time, seeing the grow up brings me so much joy. It is in these years that I get to see my parenting pay off. I get to see them make good decisions. I get to learn and watch them decide who they are and what they want to do with their lives. I get to have conversations with them about life and not just about cartoons, coloring or what they want for a snack. I get to see how far my babies have come and enjoy watching them go even further. Sort of makes up for all the drama..don’t you think?
Beautifully written!
I hope your son enjoys jis fun week of 13s.
OOOO Jenn have I got a “tool” for you that helps you understand your kids (and anyone else you feel the need to understand) and not only who they are, but what kinds of things motivate them.
I am not “endorsing” anything, but a friend bought (it was really cheap) a “flag test” for me to help them understand who I am and what motivates me.
She also did the same for her 10-year-old and helped him with some of the definitions and things and then had a clear understanding of what motivated him (at this stage in his life). She said it also was the source of lots of discussion with the whole family as they compared their “tests” for she said “weeks.”
Have you ever heard of “The Flag Test?”
It is located at http://www.flagpagetest.com. Once you take a look, I will be happy to send you MY Flag so you can see who I am. It’s not confidential by any means.
Peace,
R. Earle
I love how you write about your kids and parenting them! I think 13 is a pretty neat age, but that comes from my experience as a teacher and not as a parent. Maybe I’ll have something different to say in 10 years when I have a 13 yo and a 14 yo in my house!! (Hey, dare I ask, but don’t you have a birthday soon…or did I miss it? Or is my memory failing me in my old age, 3 days from my own birthday!)