in which she learns a lesson and i don’t have to say anything
today when i picked my daughter up from school, i knew before she even got to the car that something was wrong. she was walking too fast with her head down and the closer she got, the more i could see the redness in her cheeks. by the time she reached the door, she was near tears. her ipod and cell phone were stolen from her backpack while she was at school today. her best friend who was taking pictures for the yearbook also had her digital camera stolen today. they both think it most likely happened while they were in dance class – and here is where the lesson is learned.
at my daughter’s school they give each student a gym locker but it is one of those small square ones just big enough for your shoes and clothes. they do not have lockers big enough for their back packs as well but have a space at the end of row for the girls to put their bags during class. now, when the year first started, my girl complained that it was stupid for them to not have lockers for the backpacks because “what about my wallet and phone and stuff?” so i explained to her that she could and should just take her valuables out of her back pack and put them in the locker with her clothes. this way they would be locked up and not just inside a pocket of her backpack that was laying out for anyone to go through.
now see, the thing about my teenagers is they rarely like to believe a word that comes out of my mouth and they also tend to believe that every piece of advice i offer is just stupid. and this is pretty much the reaction i got from her when we had the discussion. so who wants to guess whether or not she put her things in her locker during gym?
but you know what? i don’t even feel vindicated because her things are gone. i just feel bad for her. she knows. she knows if she had put them away, they wouldn’t have gotten stolen. she said so. and she remembers the conversation we had about it. she doesn’t need me to remind her. so i just kept my mouth shut. i know she learned a lesson and a lecture from me wasn’t going to help. because, you see, i want her to learn another lesson: that i love and support her even when she makes a mistake.
i do feel bad and it makes me angry that she would have to lock her things up in the first place. she’s more upset about somebody haven gone through her things and taken something than she is about not having them anymore. she knows it’s just stuff. i guess she just feels violated and i totally understand that. as she so aptly put it after we got home from school. “some people suck!” and she’s right some people just do. i am sad she’s had to learn that lesson the hard way.
how amazing that instead of just one hard lesson about responsibility, your daughter gets another beautiful one about unconditional love! how am i going to learn how to do all this?! thanks for giving me over a decade to watch and learn from you
That’s a really good post. I’m sorry for your daughter’s experience. That’s a hard one to learn.